Thursday, June 17, 2010
People and Paring Knives
The word “temper” has more than one meaning, and I found several interesting definitions on the Web:
*anneal: bring to a desired consistency, texture, or hardness by a process of gradually heating and cooling; "temper glass"
*harden by reheating and cooling in oil; "temper steel"
*pique: a sudden outburst of anger; "his temper sparked like damp firewood"
*adjust the pitch (of pianos)
*a characteristic (habitual or relatively temporary) state of feeling; "whether he praised or cursed me depended on his temper at the time"; "he was in a bad humor"
*make more temperate, acceptable, or suitable by adding something else; moderate; "she tempered her criticism"
*a disposition to exhibit uncontrolled anger; "his temper was well known to all his employees"
*chasten: restrain
*the elasticity and hardness of a metal object; its ability to absorb considerable energy before cracking
(wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn)
The definitions relating to metal and glass refer to processes that make these materials more useful, by making them stronger and less subject to breakage. There was a type of tempered steel sword, made in Toledo, Spain during the Renaissance, that could be bent almost double without breaking. Tempered glass is much stronger than regular rolled glass, and when it does break, it falls into many small, round pieces that are not as hazardous as the long, sharp shards of regular broken glass.
People can be tempered as well. The challenges we face in our daily lives can strengthen us, and the process of meeting, overcoming, and then moving past challenges helps us to deal with the next stressor. This process of “heating” and “cooling” is necessary for us to mature. The first time steel is heated, it becomes brittle, and needs the process of gradual heating and cooling, over and over, in order to produce a good temper. But a rapid, high and prolonged heating will destroy the temper it had received, and will leave the steel weaker than it was before the tempering process was begun. People react much like steel to the tempering process. When we “blow our top” and “lose our temper”, it makes us weaker, less able to deal with stress, and makes it harder to regain our equilibrium. A person becomes brittle, easily broken, and liable to fly into anger at the least provocation, or at no real provocation at all. It is only by controlling how we react to the unexpected around us that we learn to “keep our temper”.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
I had not investigated 'Mormonism', as my parents had told me of how they had talked with a returned Mormon missionary and convinced him that he needed to go back to his Presbyterian church and become a Christian again. The Mormon church was a cult, according to my father; one that didn't believe in Jesus, took money away from their adherents, and worshiped some man named Joseph Smith. He felt it was a scam front for a huge business enterprise making money for so-called “prophets”. I had not met any Mormons that I knew of, except my cousin, who had come to visit us when I was about 8 years old, asking my grandmother for information about her family. She seemed to be a nice person, but she didn't stay long, and I soon forgot about the whole visit. It was a couple of months after my bad experience that two men came to the door one afternoon. I assumed they were more Jehovah's Witnesses come to talk with our housemates, and I told the men that the couple weren't there. One of them replied, “We're not here for them, we are here for you.” I looked more closely at his nametag. “Elder Anderson, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints”. This was a new one on me. He asked if they could speak with me and my husband. I told him he was at work, but that he would be home in a couple of hours. He said they would come back when he was home and speak with both of us together. They came back the next day, and from the first moment they came into the apartment, I had a good feeling about them being there. I felt peaceful in a way I hadn't for a very long time. Elder Anderson and Elder Jacobs started speaking about God, how He is our Father, how much He loves us, and that they had a message to deliver to us. As I listened, I realized that I knew what they were saying was true. One of them started talking about a vision seen by a youth named Joseph Smith. I asked them “Are you Mormons?” Elder Anderson explained that some people called them that, but that wasn't the name of the church. As he talked, I still felt good about what he was saying, and when he asked if they could come again, we said yes. As they continued to teach us, I asked questions, all the questions I had been asking since I had been a teen. There were answers to my questions! And they made sense! I was soaking in the information like a sponge. This was as different an experience as the very bad one I had had just a few short weeks ago. I was hungry to find out more, and started asking deeper questions about faith, God, Jesus, salvation, everything that I had asked about before and never received satisfactory answers. I called my parents back in Michigan and told them that I was talking with the Mormon missionaries. Mom told me I had “rocks in my head” to listen to anything they could have to say. Dad told me to ask questions, to not take anyone's word for anything, to find out all I could about this cult. Mom sent me a copy of Kingdom of the Cults, which I dutifully read. But I could already tell that the book held no truth in it, even in its description of other churches I was familiar with. I threw it away and started reading the Book of Mormon the missionaries had left with us. Following Dad's advice, I started asking about things the elders had no answers for that had been bothering me; but instead of passing them off as “mysteries of God that we aren't to know about yet”, I was told “we'll find that out and let you know.” The Church was still young and growing in Anchorage, and there weren't many print resources in the meetinghouse library. They brought me Jesus the Christ by Talmadge they'd borrowed from a member, several volumes of the Journal of Discourses of Brigham Young, copies of conference talks, articles from the Ensign magazine, the Doctrine and Covenants and Pearl of Great Price, and anything else they thought I'd be interested in reading. I devoured all of it, including the Bible, but my most intensive reading was reserved for the Book of Mormon. All of it made sense, all of it fit. But I had not yet had a confirmation of it that was as powerful as my confirmation of the evil resident in the church I had recently attended, or the lack of spirit and knowledge in the churches I had attended as a child. I needed to know there was a Spirit more powerful than the one I had felt in that school gymnasium. I wanted to know the God I had been searching for. During the third or fourth lesson, my husband quit talking with the missionaries. They had taught us about the Word of Wisdom (Doctrine & Covenants sec. 89), and giving up his smoking, his coffee, his occasional beer, the odd toke on a joint was more than he was prepared to do. For various reasons, I had either never started or already stopped using any of those things, so the Word of Wisdom was not a problem for me. They had asked us to go to church, and as G_ didn't want to go, our daughter and I went by ourselves. The meetinghouse was small, but used by 4 separate wards, or congregations, so there were people coming and going all week long. I went into the building and was greeted warmly by several people, most of whom probably thought I was coming with the next group. I doubt most of the members had any idea who was in the other wards, as they were growing so quickly. We went into the chapel and sat down near the back. I was amazed that regular-looking people were running the meeting, from the three men sitting up on the stand in business suits, to the young men in white shirts passing the communion, to the talks given by a woman and a man who were obviously not 'preachers'. It was peaceful and comforting. There was no pomp, no loud impassioned speeches, no fancy robes and furnishings, no mysticism—just regular people speaking in normal voices about God, Jesus Christ, and the gospel. They spoke of Christ as a beloved relative, the Son of a perfect and loving Father. There was singing, speaking and a calm feeling of peace. I don't remember anything dramatic happening during the meeting. But when I left the building after it was over, something amazing happened. As I moved down the steps, it felt like a warm blanket was being gently pulled off my shoulders, leaving me feeling alone and cold. It wasn't particularly cold out, but I definitely felt left open to the elements in a way I had never felt before. What was it that I had lost? Why hadn't I been aware of it before? I turned around and went back inside, trying to recapture the feeling that seemed to belong to the building, but not to me. But I couldn't get it back. It was gone, and I wanted nothing more than to feel that warmth around me again. It was the complete opposite to the feeling I had had at the other church meeting. This is what I had been waiting for. When I asked the missionaries about it later that week, they said what I had felt was the Spirit of God bearing witness to me of the truth. I wasn't aware of it until it was gone. I decided to be baptized so I could always have that feeling with me, but, as my husband didn't want me to get baptized, I had to wait 5 months, until he finally gave his permission. Shortly after my baptism, he left me and our daughter to follow another path. Since my baptism and confirmation I have often felt the quiet witness of the Spirit confirming to my mind the truth. This gift of this witness of the Spirit was incredible, but it paled before the witness I received of the Book of Mormon. A couple of weeks after my experience at the meetinghouse, I was at work, reading the Book of Mormon during my lunch break. I worked by myself in a room that housed a very noisy machine that made copies of oil well bore soundings and surface maps. As I sat and read 3 Nephi, I got to the point where Christ comes to the Nephites after His resurrection. Suddenly, I felt something strange happening. A warm feeling was growing inside me, centered in my chest and radiating outward throughout my body. It felt like the sun had been placed inside me, shining so brightly that I felt I would be totally consumed by it. I couldn't hear the machine anymore, I wasn't even aware of the room I was in. I was completely focused on the light. I don't know how long it lasted, but the feeling eventually faded, and I was left with the certain knowledge that the Book of Mormon was true. I learned later that this particular witness of the Spirit is not something that happens to everyone, and I have always been very thankful for it. I have had other encounters with the Spirit, but nothing like this. Mostly, I feel the warm, comforting presence that doesn't fade unless I drive it away through disobedience. The difference between Satan's influence and God's is so clear to me now. Satan wants me to feel afraid of God, to feel like there's no hope, no chance of feeling good again, no salvation possible. He doesn't care about me, or what ultimately happens to me, as long as I don't turn to Christ. He wants me to be miserable. He has convinced many in the world that the thoughts and philosophies of men are as good as God's truth, as long as it's mixed in with a little scripture. He wants everyone to believe that just being a 'pretty good person' will make us happy. The gift of discernment, through the power of the Holy Spirit, allows me to see the influence of Satan on the world around me, so I can avoid its spirit-dulling enticements and the downward spiral of carnality and pride. The Lord makes me feel loved and hopeful, precious to Him and worth bringing home to my Father. He is interested in what I do, knows who I am, and loves me more than I can imagine. He wants me to be truly happy, and knows what it takes for me to understand His will for me. I feel safe and strengthened when I feel His Spirit. I think the Spirit has always been present in my life, but because I was never taught to recognize Him, I was unaware of His presence. I was walking through life with my spiritual eyes closed, unaware of the blessings I had been granted all through my childhood and young adulthood. I knew of Christ, but I didn't know Him. I feel grateful for His sacrifice on my behalf, and forever indebted to Him. I know where I'm supposed to be now, and what church I need to belong to. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the only true and living church on the face of the earth. I know that there are true prophets again upon the earth, just as there were anciently. I know God the Father and His Son. I know that I can pray and receive answers to my prayers. I know They love me, and want me to return to live with Them. I know I have been saved from the effects of Adam and Eve's transgression, and that, if I stay faithful and endure to the end, I will be given the supernal gift of eternal life with my Heavenly Father. I have a testimony that Christ is real, that He loves all of us, that He wants us to be happy, and that there is a plan to get us back to our Father, if we are willing to follow Him. My questions have not all been answered, as I don't have all the knowledge and experience I need to understand the answers yet. But I know they will be answered eventually, as long as I put forth the effort needed to accomplish that. The Holy Spirit is a real influence in my life, guiding me and encouraging me to do what I can, and leave the rest to Christ and His grace. I know the Book of Mormon is true, is scripture, and is an infallible guide to Christ. Together with the Bible, they are a dual witness of the divinity of Christ, of the hope that is ours in the gospel, and of the marvelous love of our Creator, Father and Savior. As a child, no one had told me that I could find out for myself the answers I needed. But a loving Father sent two young men to open my eyes and heart to the truth. Like Paul, I now "...can do (and know) all things through Christ Jesus, who strengthens me.”